[overdependency.]

Overdependency manifests with many different faces. [as long as it's not our own face.] We avoid ourselves so! We cannot seem to bear the sight and responsibility of our own face, so we force that responsibility onto other faces.

When you ask someone you love to change, what are you asking? Are you not looking into a mirror of yourself, seeing something you dislike, and then asking the mirror to change instead of you? You cannot change them. You can only change yourself.

A spiritual respect must remain in tact for eachother's individual growths for a relationship to work, and demanding change is harmful. You must know when to move on. It seems that so many people are in unhealthy, unsatisfied relationships, because they are just waiting for their partner to change. They suffer, they victimize themselves, they become resentful. They focus on the shortcomings of their partner, their mirror, rather than seeing themselves in their true and sometimes unflattering forms. It is better to be unhappy with another person than be unhappy with yourself it seems. [overdependency.]

When you are hurt by someone, you want them to apologize for their crimes so you can move on. You cry and suffer until they comfort you. You feel you cannot heal until you hear "I'm sorry" from someone. Why do you need their apologetic blessing anyways? It may soothe your emotional sharpness, but it doesn't change anything that happened. I'm not saying you cannot forgive, for forgiveness is an amazing and necessary experience. But I am saying that they have no claim over you and your happiness and freedom. You don't need their approval to move on or heal. [overdependency.]

TRUE healing comes from within. It is not reliant upon the admissions of those who hurt you. If you can learn that you don't need to hear "I'm sorry" to gain closure, the freedom comes. No one can heal you. You can only heal yourself.

PLEASE- look at yourself in the mirror. Honestly look at yourself for ten minutes. Can you do it? I think many people would find their problem is right there in the mirror with them.