Thursday, August 6, 2009

Dear Universe,

what. the. fuck.

Divine, i am trying. i am trying so hard to keep the faith. i feel... so... lost. i don't understand what is happening. how am i in minnesota again? why have i come back when the reason i came back doesn't seem to care? my reason for coming back no longer wants me near and i feel imprisoned by circumstance. why have i been brought to this point of despair and suffering? did you not give me a renewed life? there is a lump in my throat that has been there for over a week now. i cannot communicate what i am feeling because i do not have a receptive audience. i am so repressed and stressed that my gums bleed because i have been grinding my teeth so much. my eyes sting from all the tears. i have made myself physically sick with grief on numerous occasions and no one even knows. i feel alone. and scared. 

Spirit, i am so scared. please help me. 

please... communicate with me somehow.. tell me what to do. 

have i lost it all as soon as i have gained it? have i been abandoned by the throes of love again? i need someone. something. i need to not feel this suffering. i know that this is suppose to be the hardest cycle of my kundalini transformation, but i don't think i can do it alone. i don't know what to do. i don't know where to go. the pain is starting again. 

i am sending this prayer into the universe. someone please hear it.  someone please help me. someone please comfort me. 

1 comment:

  1. If I had words of comfort they would be yours... but all I can offer is my empathy. Hope things get better soon.

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