Empath

Like bees to the honeypot, they're drawn in. If I'd have known I'd have honey oozing from my eyes, acting as amber-shaded prisms all too easily giving away the light from within, maybe I'd have scooped 'em out with a rusted silver spoon years ago. But they come, friends and strangers alike, to rest wearily on my shoulder, weaving their tongues towards the honey I can cry for them. Every gift comes with its own price, its own sacrifice, its own karmic balance. Every gift has a purpose of its own, whether we share that purpose or not.

I can feel it all. Every twisted knot in your belly. Every vein of hurt behind your eyes. We are all books, every one of us. But not all of us know how to read.

And I have cradled her in my arms. That frail little thing, covered in scars and beauty. I stroked her hair lovingly, sinking into that warm black hole she resides in. She rarely speaks. But I have familiarized myself with the energy of silent agony, and she brings me back into it. She is eternally a small child, curled in the darkened corner of her mind.

And I have refused a respectable man. I could feel every growing inkling but could not say a word. I could see the small moves happening in my mind moments before they happened. And when confronted, I had to refuse. The pure crystalline of his eyes, the hard line of his lips above his dark brown beard threaded with a lovely unexpected silver, sent me reeling. Driving away much faster than I needed to, my eyes burst with the sting of misplaced rejection.

And in those moments of yours, when comfort swings towards dissatisfaction, when adoration swings towards anger, I feel myself tilt to adjust to the shifting energy. Crowds are a rage of sex and cynicism. Intentions become clear almost immediately, secret relations and longings are exposed, honest-to-goodness kindness is easily distinguished.

To feel humans like this more and more makes me feel less and less like human.

But this is why I'm here. And I have plenty of Light to share.

Invictus

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds and shall find me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

William Ernest Henley

Glory

Do you feel that?

Something is coming.

A swirling force of purples and blacks. Wrapped in shadow but wreathed in moonlight, dressed in turbulence and smelling faintly of romance. Stirring beneath black reflective pools, slivers of light quivering on the surface. Depth and madness and glory.

Something is coming.

Taste the power on your tongue and prepare yourself for something frighteningly beautiful and wretchedly amazing.

Eclipse

January 15th of this year was the annual solar eclipse. I woke up in the middle of the night writhing in pain. It went away after an hour or so, and the following day was filled with learning and Light. I thought it was coincidental that the pain came the same time the eclipse did, but I didn't think much of it.

This past Saturday I was in the worst of moods for no reason. I was irritated and overly emotional and withdrawn and very crabby. I was hanging out with a friend, trying to enjoy the festivities in the cities and the day, but I was fighting tears the entire time. It seemed that my past was haunting me, flaunting itself in my face in many ways. By the end of the day, I just broke. Complete temporary breakdown. I started crying uncontrollably for reasons I didn't comprehend. I was completely overcome with emotion. I let it all out. I let myself cry and scream until I couldn't anymore. The next day, I felt lighter, more positive. It wasn't until today that I found out Saturday was the full moon partial eclipse.

I am officially recognizing that the eclipses energetically affect me. (Solar eclipses bring that creative driving force, while lunar eclipses bring that emotional force, that cleansing.) So on July 11th, there will be a total solar eclipse. I want to spend the day focusing on my goals. I want to meditate and work with my creativity and abundance. I would love it if some of my friends would like to get together with me and do the same. Even just to talk about our lives and goals.

Let's take advantage of and flow with the energy that will ruling the day anyways. :D