center of the universe

i had a vision. i did not seek it; it sought me.

it was as if i zoomed out and above my body. i looked down on myself. above my head was a large nebulous ball of violet/white/pink light. i acknowledged it as my crown chakra. around my crown chakra, the universe circled and twirled around it.

and with the image, came the understanding and wisdom. it has taken me a week or so to find the words to describe, for words seem a pathetic means of this extraordinary understanding. even now, i am not satisfied with them for they pale in comparison.

your crown chakra is where you find nothingness. it is pure consciousness. pure divinity. absolute being. it is neither here nor there. timeless, spaceless. absolute freedom. the universe that circles this center of absolute being is Chaos. it is where time and space reside, where dualities exist and dance, where our earthly existence develops. it is the storm, and the crown chakra is the eye of the same storm. however, this Chaos is not the opposite of absolute being, because absolute being has no opposite in itself. it is just as it is.

as we live and grow, we are part of this amazing, chaotic storm. we experience and ride all sorts of waves. we are born, we age, we die, we are reborn. it is natural and inescapable. in our powerlessness over birth and death, we seek to plant roots and develop stability. things we can control. and we find that we fail everytime. Eris knows no roots.

if we are able to step into our crown chakras, our christ consciousness, we find ourselves out of the storm. we are taken to a place where we are nothing. where time and space are replaced with blissful emptiness. to connect yourselves with this state of being and establishing an understanding, you can, in essence, attach an etheric rope that holds you to your state of pure being. you can jump back into the twirling Chaos, filled with the inner peace of knowing you can pull yourself into your christ consciousness at anytime you wish. you realize there is no reason to be frantic. no reason to panic. no need to control everything you can. you can play in the storm and ride the waves, knowing that divinity and peace is always within your reach and within yourself.

experiencing this makes it obvious to me that the center of the universe is my crown chakra. and your crown chakra. everyone's crown chakras. and not just metaphorically, but literally also. if the entire universe orbits around this massive center of pure being, and our crown chakras are our very real connection to that pure being, then a=b. you cannot argue with semantics, i.e. (how can both of our crown chakras BOTH be the single center of the universe?), because absolute being is timeless and spaceless. it cannot be bothered with restrictions and bindings. the absolute being of my crown is also yours. we are one. we are all connected in that way. we are all connected by our divine consciousness.

it is a very powerful thing.

experiencing God

Carl Jung described himself as having two personalities. His No 1 personality was his rational self; his scientific fact driven mind, his ability to function and progress within society. His No 2 personality was his sacred self; the part of him that felt direct experience with God when he was alone and unafraid of the consequences of such experience. With his No 2, he always felt he had a secret to keep. The secret of experiencing God in such a direct manner. There are so few who experience God in this way, and both myself and Jung have found that God cannot be experienced like this in church. That observation brings with it a wave of shame, however, coming from a Christian home with Christian values and dogma burned in the mind. Jung's difficulties with his sacred self have actually become a small comfort to me as I integrate my own sacred self. 

Friday night, I dreamt Alex and I were walking up a staircase, and we met a woman who was walking down it. She looked straight through my soul, and was complaining that she couldn't breathe. At the bottom, she fell. She went limp, but around her body was a vibrant blue light, with a white streak through her chest, and red and purple at the edges of the blue. I was freaking out.. I wondered if she was going through a healing, and then I wondered if I was the one doing it. 

Saturday morning, Erika called. Her friend Michelle was in the hospital, comatose and close to death. Her lungs had filled from a bad case of pneumonia, and she acquired some sort of lung disease on top of that. It wasn't getting better. She asked if I could help. I readily agreed and met up with her a few hours later. We got to the hospital, where Erika explained to the nurses that I was a healer. I had to put on a mask before I went in the room, and when I entered, I was immediately intimidated and slightly terrified. Michelle was strapped sideways to a mechanical bed, completely out, tubes going and coming everywhere. Alas, it seemed to be the same woman from the dream. I proceeded to do a session on her, as 6 or 7 waves of strong energy came through me. The heat was incredible. I used the color techniques the dream had shown me. Michelle was resigned inside herself.. she was not fighting. I energetically encouraged her to fight and to hold on and told her that her life was in her own hands as well. 

Afterwards, I was exhausted and dizzy. Erika told me that during the session, her oxygen levels had spiked from 86 to 95. I left feeling small. So small. I cried the whole way home, overwhelmed by the prospect of having this kind of impact on someone's actual life. Two hours later, Erika called and told me Michelle's vitals had stabilized and she was nearly off the ventilator. Erika and Michelle's husband were extremely grateful to me, and instead of giving me more confidence in my abilities, it just made me feel smaller in this world. In a good way though, I think. Humbler. The power of God is a mighty thing.